HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
