first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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