There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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