I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
