Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
