She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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