Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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