dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
