butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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