Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
