Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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