There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
