If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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