from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
