We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
