We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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