i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize