i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize