Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
