He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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