just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
