Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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