Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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