i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
