the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
