I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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