I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
