Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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