My hair reeks of homosexuality.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
