Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
