Small penises have feelings too.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
