I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
