Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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