highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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