Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize