after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
