Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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