i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
