So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
