his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize