he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In America we eat man semen.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
