I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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