the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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