I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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