I could have mohawked her pubes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
