At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
