No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You are a genius and a whore.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
