nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
