chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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