I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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