yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
