I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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