Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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