Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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