True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
