Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
