it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize