so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize