I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
