do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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