the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
