Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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