I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
