Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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