you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
