worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize