HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
