Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
